I've been having issues lately. Not sure what they are but they are there. So as with anytime in my short history on this earth, when I begin to feel some type of way, I change... IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE. I've been toying with the idea of going vegan/vegetarian for a while. Vegetarianism and veganism are two different things. I know this, but I'm a jump into the deep end of the ocean type of person, so I am contemplating going total vegan. I feel this would be best for me at this time. I am a little hesitant, but I think it will work for me. I am going to draw up a protocol for my transformation and will post it soon. But as for right now, lets do this.
Monday, April 10, 2017
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Reflections of 2016
I began the year with hope. I had removed negative energy from my world and moved on. Then 1 day out of the blue it returned with a full vengeance of a monsoon.. Winds blowing......
negative..darkness covering the light. Neck spasms, pain, phone calls..
UGH!! WAIT A MINUTE STOPPPPPP.
Several months have passed and I have not heard anything, other than the occasional text from some mysterious person without a name. "SHE" claims to be "concerned" and feel my pain.. I appreciate that someone would go through all the efforts of letting me know what "he" has been doing, but in reading over some of my post from the these past few years, I don't really need anyone to tell me what "he" is doing. I know all to well. "He" is living a li(f)e. Maybe not the one he envisioned for himself, but a life just the same in someone else's play...
Marriage is on the horizon for some, not so much for others. I am in a place where I will probably complete this life alone.. I don't know. I've lost faith in my ability to discern the good from the bad. He was bad for me. Hopefully not so bad for her. But she is young.. If he is, she has time to recover... I wish them well, I wish for them all the things they deserve. May she not become baby mommy #5 and may he find in his self the ability to "give a fuck" without expecting anything in return. May they have genuine feelings for each other and may all the days that they are together they find in each other what they truly want ...
Ok, wait.. I'm not a saint.. I really hope the bitch rips his fucking heart out and stomps it into the ground..AND I hope..... noooooooooooooooooo. That is really not me at all. I don't do revenge. I let GOD handle that part. Even though every time I break up with someone, they find someone who they end up being with unhappily for a long time. AND the statistics say 58% of marriages end in divorce. I can dream..LOL
SHIT...SHIT SHIT SHIT.... shhhhhhhittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEE??????? WHY WHY WHY????? Am I destined to be alone?
Well,, I accept this if that is what GOD has in store for me. Because at this point in my life, I really don't see any prospect out there who would be interested in an old lady like myself.
Ok this is not a pity party. I don't do pity. But have you seen the caliber of men out there. Wait, I know some are saying, "there are some good guys still out there" I would beg to differ my dears. I work in the public sector and I see men my age and they are in bad shape. Can't hold their pee, everything hurts..no teeth..some can't even buy a girl a cup of coffee... hahahahaha.. waitaminute... It's not like I am in such good shape myself, but DAMN.. This is what I get for being so damn vain my whole life. Always have been a sucker for a handsome face and a tight body..shit shit shit...
LETTUCE PRAY..
Lord, I know I have been a sucker for the pretty boy my whole life, and lord, I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I also know that men see beauty differently than women do. But lord, if Imma do all this work to get myself in some kind of passing shape, please at least let the person you have for me be on the same level as me, when they find me. AMEN.
Ok, I'll admit I did feel some kind of way when I found out he was getting married, damn he couldn't even wait, after 11 years....but then I guess he's been waiting his whole life for this moment in time. If you reading this homegirl, he did ask me to marry him. So don't believe the hype that our relationship was never about anything. It was. We talked about forever's.. I didn't make it out to be more than it was....In my mind.....NOPE..it was in his mind also..that's why he stayed for as long as he did, that's why he came back, that IS WHY..we were a "WE"..I just lost hope in him, I lost hope that he would ever DO anything. I gave up on him.. he broke my trust 1 too many times... He talks a really good game though, as you will find out. He has the gift of beautiful words, but beautiful words don't pay bills.. I hope it works out better for you.
BUT........
Don't get fat, he'll talk about you like a dog behind your back, and make sure you keep a clean house, cause he won't help in that department. If you decide to have any kids with him make sure you are prepared to raise them alone, just ask ANY of his 4 baby mommas, NONE of which like him at all..(don't believe the bullshit that they ALL want him back, they don't)...also I hope you know how to deal with his emotional cheating..He IS an emotional cheater.. chronic emotional cheater... He'll tell you it's his homegirl from back in the day OR that he's helping her with HER relationship, but you already know this right??? Wasn't he "HELPING YOU" with yours??? Don't stop having sex with him though..regardless of what he does with his "people" on the side, or you will lose. and he won't tell YOU anything, BUT HE WILL TELL E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. else... so be prepared for that part. He WILL piss you off and act like YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG and he will try to tell you what you think.. BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT YOU THINK..EVERYTHING YOU THINK.. he knows already...so yeah, you won't have to think at all, because he will do that for you..in fact given the chance he'll have the whole damn conversation and just tell you how it turns out.... But hey, we get what we give and he is giving you a whole lot.. of NOTHING.. you just don't know it yet.. But I would imagine this is what you PRAYED FOR right??.....don't worry tho.. be happy..it will work out as GOD has planned it. And if it's meant to be nobody can block it right? take care
God bless
T aka L
negative..darkness covering the light. Neck spasms, pain, phone calls..
UGH!! WAIT A MINUTE STOPPPPPP.
Several months have passed and I have not heard anything, other than the occasional text from some mysterious person without a name. "SHE" claims to be "concerned" and feel my pain.. I appreciate that someone would go through all the efforts of letting me know what "he" has been doing, but in reading over some of my post from the these past few years, I don't really need anyone to tell me what "he" is doing. I know all to well. "He" is living a li(f)e. Maybe not the one he envisioned for himself, but a life just the same in someone else's play...
Marriage is on the horizon for some, not so much for others. I am in a place where I will probably complete this life alone.. I don't know. I've lost faith in my ability to discern the good from the bad. He was bad for me. Hopefully not so bad for her. But she is young.. If he is, she has time to recover... I wish them well, I wish for them all the things they deserve. May she not become baby mommy #5 and may he find in his self the ability to "give a fuck" without expecting anything in return. May they have genuine feelings for each other and may all the days that they are together they find in each other what they truly want ...
Ok, wait.. I'm not a saint.. I really hope the bitch rips his fucking heart out and stomps it into the ground..AND I hope..... noooooooooooooooooo. That is really not me at all. I don't do revenge. I let GOD handle that part. Even though every time I break up with someone, they find someone who they end up being with unhappily for a long time. AND the statistics say 58% of marriages end in divorce. I can dream..LOL
SHIT...SHIT SHIT SHIT.... shhhhhhhittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEE??????? WHY WHY WHY????? Am I destined to be alone?
Well,, I accept this if that is what GOD has in store for me. Because at this point in my life, I really don't see any prospect out there who would be interested in an old lady like myself.
Ok this is not a pity party. I don't do pity. But have you seen the caliber of men out there. Wait, I know some are saying, "there are some good guys still out there" I would beg to differ my dears. I work in the public sector and I see men my age and they are in bad shape. Can't hold their pee, everything hurts..no teeth..some can't even buy a girl a cup of coffee... hahahahaha.. waitaminute... It's not like I am in such good shape myself, but DAMN.. This is what I get for being so damn vain my whole life. Always have been a sucker for a handsome face and a tight body..shit shit shit...
LETTUCE PRAY..
Lord, I know I have been a sucker for the pretty boy my whole life, and lord, I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I also know that men see beauty differently than women do. But lord, if Imma do all this work to get myself in some kind of passing shape, please at least let the person you have for me be on the same level as me, when they find me. AMEN.
Ok, I'll admit I did feel some kind of way when I found out he was getting married, damn he couldn't even wait, after 11 years....but then I guess he's been waiting his whole life for this moment in time. If you reading this homegirl, he did ask me to marry him. So don't believe the hype that our relationship was never about anything. It was. We talked about forever's.. I didn't make it out to be more than it was....In my mind.....NOPE..it was in his mind also..that's why he stayed for as long as he did, that's why he came back, that IS WHY..we were a "WE"..I just lost hope in him, I lost hope that he would ever DO anything. I gave up on him.. he broke my trust 1 too many times... He talks a really good game though, as you will find out. He has the gift of beautiful words, but beautiful words don't pay bills.. I hope it works out better for you.
BUT........
Don't get fat, he'll talk about you like a dog behind your back, and make sure you keep a clean house, cause he won't help in that department. If you decide to have any kids with him make sure you are prepared to raise them alone, just ask ANY of his 4 baby mommas, NONE of which like him at all..(don't believe the bullshit that they ALL want him back, they don't)...also I hope you know how to deal with his emotional cheating..He IS an emotional cheater.. chronic emotional cheater... He'll tell you it's his homegirl from back in the day OR that he's helping her with HER relationship, but you already know this right??? Wasn't he "HELPING YOU" with yours??? Don't stop having sex with him though..regardless of what he does with his "people" on the side, or you will lose. and he won't tell YOU anything, BUT HE WILL TELL E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. else... so be prepared for that part. He WILL piss you off and act like YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG and he will try to tell you what you think.. BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT YOU THINK..EVERYTHING YOU THINK.. he knows already...so yeah, you won't have to think at all, because he will do that for you..in fact given the chance he'll have the whole damn conversation and just tell you how it turns out.... But hey, we get what we give and he is giving you a whole lot.. of NOTHING.. you just don't know it yet.. But I would imagine this is what you PRAYED FOR right??.....don't worry tho.. be happy..it will work out as GOD has planned it. And if it's meant to be nobody can block it right? take care
God bless
T aka L
Saturday, May 7, 2016
If the Shoe fits WEAR IT PROUDLY..or STFU..
I really can't stand meddling people. You know the ones who think they know something they really don't know, but THINK they do. Yeah THOSE people. Here's a little history lesson. just in case you wanna know something, you should just ask me, that way you can spend your time more productively instead of tryna play private eye and track down my life story.. here you go...
I've been on my own since I was 16.. by myself, raising myself. Nobody taking care of me..
I had a kid at 17..and an apartment, a job and an ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND who kicked my ass just because.. got that.
As a result of my early training, I don't take well to people trying to tell me anything about me, OR TRYNA TELL ON ME.. OR TRYNA TELL ME WHAT TO DO....OR HOW TO DO IT...YOU CAN'T TELL ON ME. There is no one to tell. NOT MY MOMMY, NOT MY DADDY, and definitely NOT ANYONE WHO LIVE IN THE HOUSE WITH ME.
I'M GROWN.
been grown since I was 16 and learned how to take care of me.. SOOO anything you THINK you have on me, you can probably just save it, because I done already told it all. TOLD IT ALL..all of it.
AIN'T NOTHING I EVER DID HIDDEN..I don't have to hide shit. Because I'm not ashamed of ANYTHING I've ever done. NOTHING has power over me, except maybe a good beer. I love beer, and don't really give 2 fucks what you or anyone else thinks of it. GOT THAT?
So just in case you were wondering, here's the list of me condensed
1. you can't tell on me
2. I don' give 2 fucks what you think of me
3. what you do is your business not mine
5. worry about you
6. I'm territorial also
7. Don't fuck with me I don't play well others and don't tolerant bullshit at all
8. I DON'T FUCKING PLAY FAIR..
9. what happened to # 4.? keep reading
11. nosy motherfuckers should be #1
6. touching our shit without permission should be #2
keep tryna convince yourself otherwise
my giveafuck is broken
it might raise your blood pressure
but my fuck you works perfectly fine
you can kiss my entire black ass
ALL OF IT
and now #4 keep reading
4. I know ya'll playing, I ain't stupid , I just don't care
like I said, I just don't care bout NONE of that
just do you, cuz Imma do me
stop micro managing every little aspect of somebody else's world
it takes too much time
pay attention to your own shit.
#nodrama
#PEACE
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